SATYRICON
di B. Maderna
Tape n. 1 - interrupted by
1.1 Scintilla
1.2 Criside II
Criside
Love's ecstasy
2. La Matrona di Efeso
Habinnas
Once upon a time there was a certain married woman
in the city of Ephesus whose fidelity to her husband
was so famous that the women from all the neighbouring
towns and villages used to troop into Ephesus merely
to stare at this prodigy.
It happened, however, that her husband one day died.
Finding the normal custom of following the cortege
with hair unbound and beating her breast in public
quite inadequate to express her grief, the lady insisted
on following the corpse into the tomb and there set
herself to guard the body, weeping and wailing night and day.
Although in her extremes of grief she was clearly courting
death from starvation, her parents were utterly unable
to persuade her to leave. In short, all Ephesus had gone
into mourning for this extraordinary woman,
all the more since the lady was
now passing her fifth consecutive day without
once tasting food.
Beside the failing woman sat her devoted maid,
sharing her mistress'grief and relighting
the lamp whenever it flickered out.
The whole city could speak, in fact, of nothing else:
here at last, all classes alike agreed,
was the one true example of conjugal fidelity and love.
In the meantime, however, the governor of the province
gave orders that several thieves should be crucified
in a spot close by the vault where the lady was mourning
her dead husband's corpse. So, on the following night,
the soldier who had been assigned to keep watch
on the crosses so that nobody could remove
the thieves' bodies for burial, suddenly noticed
a light blazing among the tombs
and heard the sounds of groaning.
And prompted to know who or what was making
those sounds, he descended into the vault.
But at the sight of a strikingly beautiful woman,
he stopped short in terror, thinking he must be seeing
some ghostly apparition out of hell.
Then, observing the corpse and seeing the tears
on the lady's face and the scratches her fingernails
had gashed in her cheeks, he realised what it was.
Promptly fetching his little supper back down
to the tomb, he implored the lady not to persist in her sorrow.
All men alike, have the same end;
the same resting place await us all. He used, in short,
all those platitudes we use to comfort the suffering and bring
them back to life. His consolations, being unwelcome,
only exasperated the widow more; more violently than
ever she beat her breast, and tearing out her hair by roots,
scattered it over the dead man's body. Undismayed,
the soldier repeated his arguments and pressed her to take
some food, until the little maid, quite overcome by the smell
of the wine, succumbed and tretched out her hand to her tempter.
Then, restored by the food and wine, she began herself to assail
her mistress' obstinate refusal. "A quoi te servira-t-il, de te
laisser mourir de faim, de t'ensevelir vivante, et, avant que
les Destins ne t'y invitent, de rendre un souffle innocent?"
"Id cinerem aut manes credis sentire sepultos?"
"Ne veux-tu pas revenir à la vie? Ne veux-tu pas profiter,
aussi longtemps que tu le pourras, des bienfaits du jour?
Ce cadavre même, étendu en ce lieu, devrait
te donner le conseil de vivre!"
None of us, of course, really dislikes being told that we must eat,
that life is to be lived. And the lady was no exception.
Weakened by her long days of fasting, her resistance crumbled at last.
Well, you know what temptations are normally aroused in a man
on a full stomach. So the soldier, mustering all those blandishments
by means of which he had persuaded the lady to live,
now laid determined siege to her virtue. And chaste though she was,
the lady found him singularly attractive and his arguments persuasive.
As for the maid, she did all she could to help the soldier's cause.
"Combattras - tu longtemps un amour qui the plait? Nec venit in mentem,
quorum consederis arvis?"
To make the matter short, the lady's body soon gave up the struggle:
she yielded. They slept together the first, the second and the third night too.
One night, however, the parents of one of the crucified thieves,
noticing that the watch was being badly kept, took advantage of our hero's
absence to remove their son's body and bury it.
The next morning, of course, the soldier was horror-struck to discover
one of the bodies missing from its cross, and ran to tell his mistress
of the horrible punishment which awaited him for neglecting his duty.
In the circumstances, he told her, he would not wait to be tried and sentenced,
but would punish himself then and there with his own sword.
All he asked of her was that she make room for another corpse
and allow the same gloomy tomb to enclose husband and lover together.
Our lady's heart, however, was no less tender than pure. She cried,
"God forbid that I should have to see at one and the same time the dead bodies
of the only two men I have ever loved.
No, better far, I say, to hang the dead than kill the living".
With these words, she gave orders that her husband's body should be taken
from its bier and strung up on the empty cross.
3. Fortunata
Fortunata
That's Fortunata, Trimalchio's wife! And the name couldn't suit me better.
I count my cash by cartload. I have Trimalchio eating out of my hand.
If I tell him at noon it were night, he would crawl into bed;
If I tell him; If I tell; If I tell him.
As for him, he's so loaded he doesn't know how much he has.
But me! I have my finger in everything - where you'd least expect it too.
If I like you, you're lucky; if don't, god help you.
As for Trimalchio, that man's got more farms than a kite could flap over.
And there's more silver plate stuffed in his porter's lodge than another
man's got in his safe. As for slaves, whoosh! So help me,
I'll bet no one in ten has ever seen his master. Your ordinary rich man is
just peanuts compared to him; he could knock them all under a cabbage
and you'd never know they were gone. And buy things? Not him. No sir,
he raises everything right on his own estate. Wool, citron, pepper,
you name it. By god, you'd find hen's milk if you looked around.
Now take his wool. The home grown strain wasn't good enough.
So you know what he did? Imported rams from Tarentum, bred into the herd.
Attic honey he raises at home. Ordered the bees special from Athens.
And the local bees are better for being rossbred too. And you know,
just the other day he sent off to India for some mushroom spawn.
Every mule he owns had a wild ass for a daddy. And you see those
pillows there? Every last one stuffed with purple or scarlet wool.
That boy's loaded !
4. Orchestral improvisation - Food Machine
5. Trimalchio e le flatulenze
Trimalchio
Nehmts mir nicht übel, lieber Freunde, -
schon viele Tage macht mein Bauch, nicht mit.
Moi, je ne connais pas plus grand supplice que de se retenir.
Auch die Arzte kennen sich nicht aus.
Was mir trotzdem geholfen hat, war Granatapfelschale
und Pinie in Essig. Ich hoffe trotzdem, er besinnt sich endiich
auf seine Anstandspflicht.
I know of some who've died being too polite and holding it in.
Sonst dröhnt es mir um dem Bauch herum, man denkt, ein Stier.
6. Trimalchio and animals (Tape n. 4: Music à la Webern with pigs)
7.1 Carriera di Trimalchio
Trimalchio
Friends, make yourselves comfortable.
Once I used to be like you, but I rose to the top by my ability.
Guts are what make the man; the rest is garbage. I buy well, I sell well.
Others have different notions.
But like I was saying, friends, it's through my business sense
that I shot up. Why, when I came here from Asia, I stood no taller
than candlestick there. For fourteen years I was my master's pet.
But what's the shame in doing what you're told to do?
But all the same, if you know what I mean, I managed to do
my mistress a favor or two. But mum's the word:
I'm none of your ordinary, blowhards.
Well, then heaven gave me a push and I became master in the house.
I was my master's brains. So he made me heir to everything he had,
and I came out of it with a senator's fortune.
But we never have enough, and I wanted to try my hand at business.
To cut is short, I had five ships built. The I stocked them with wine -
worth its weight in gold at the time - and shipped them off to Rome.
I might as well have told them to go sink themselves since
that's what they did. Yup! all five of them wrecked. No kidding.
In one day old Neptune swallowed down a cool million.
Was I licked? Hell, no. That loss just whetted my appetite
as though nothing had happened at all. So I build some more ships,
bigger and better and a damn sight luckier.
No one could say I didn't have guts.
But big ships make a man feel big himself.
I shipped a cargo of wine, bacon, beans, perfume and slaves.
That was the yeast of my wealth.
Besides, when the gods want something done, it gets done in a jiffy.
On that one voyage alone, I cleared about five hundred thousand.
Right away I bought up all my old master's property. I built a house,
I went into slave-trading and cattle-buying.
Everything I touched just grew and grew like honeycomb.
More... and more! seven hundred and seventy five thousand!
One million!... more and more again!... seven millions!
Milioni milioni Milioni milionimilionimilioni!...
Vierzehn Millionen, Zwanzig Millionen, Hundert Millionen, noch mehr!...
Immer mehr!... Kolossal! Tria miliaa centies quadringenti milia
centies nongenti milia centies!
7.2 Criside I
Criside
Love's ecstasy.
7.3
Trimalchio
Vierzehn Millionen, Zwanzig Millionen,
Hundert Millionen, noch mehr! ... Immer mehr! ...
Kolossal! Tria miliaa centies quadringenti milia
centies nongenti milia centies!
8.
Scintilla, Criside, Niceros e Eumolpus
Love's ecstasy.
Trimalchio
Vierzehn Millionen, Zwanzig Millionen, Hundert Millionen, noch mehr!...
Immer mehr!... Kolossal! Tria miliaa centies quadringenti milia
centies nongenti milia centies!
9. Fortunata e Eumolpus
Fortunata
Parce que tu connais ton charme, tu es plein d'orgueil,
et tu vends tes faveurs, tu ne les donnes
pas pour le plaisir; tu ne les donnes pas.
A quoi tendent ces cheveux ondulés au peigne,
ce visage enduit de crèmes de beauté,
cete tendre vivacité de ton regard?
Pourquoi cete démarche si savamment calculée,
ces pas qui ne s'écartent jamais de la mesure prescrite?
Pourquoi, sinon parce que tu affiches ta beauté, pour la vendre?
Tu me vois: je ne connais rien aux augures,
je ne m'occupe pas des calcuis des astrologues,
mais, d'après les visages, je devine les façons d'être des gens,
et, lorsque j'ai vu quelqu'un se promener je sais ce qu'il pense.
Si, donc, tu veux moi vendre ce que je te demande,
j'ai un acheteur tout prêt, mais si tu es bien gentil,
tu veux moi le donner pour rien.
Eumolpus
Orbem iam totum...
Fortunata
Fais seulement en sorte que sois ton obligée.
Eumolpus
Mais, je ne suis qu'un humble philosophe.
Fortunata
Tu ne fais qu'enflammer
Eumolpus
...victor Romanus habebat...
Fortunata
le désir de celle qui se consumme pour toi.
Eumolpus
qua mare, qua terrae, qua sidus currit utrumque
Fortunata
Il est des femmes qui ne s'eprennent que de la bassesse,
Eumolpus
Nec satiatus erat. Gravides freta...
Fortunata
et qui n'éprouvent du désir que si elles voient
un esclave ou des valets haut troussés.
Certaines se passionnent
Eumolpus
... pulsa carinis...
iam peragebantur; si quis
Fortunata
pour un giadiateur, ou pour un muletier
tout couvert de poussière, ou pour un histrion.
Eumolpus
... sinis abditus ultra, si...
Fortunata
Moi, moi j'aime le philosophes.
Moi j'adore les philosophes,
je veux selement des philou...
10. Eumolpus Fuga
Eumolpus
Orbem iam totum victor Romanus habebat,
qua mare, qua terrae, qua sidus currit utrumque.
Nec satiatus erat. Gravides freta pulsa carinis iam pera,
iam pe... iam peragebantur; iam pera gebantur, iam...
pera gebantur; si quis sinus abditus ultra,...
si qua foret tellus quae fulvum metteret aurum; hostis erat...
11. Tape n. 3 (Awakening)
12. Trimalchio contra Fortunata
Trimalchio
Doesn't that slut remember what she used to be?
By god, I took her off the sale platform
and made her an honest woman.
But she blows herself up like a bullfrog.
She's forgotten how lucky she is.
She won't remember the whore she used to be.
People in shacks shouldn't dream of palaces, I say.
By god, if don't tame that strutting Cassandra,
my name isn't Trimalchio! And to think, sap that I was,
that I could have married an heiress worth half a million.
And that's no lie. Old Agatho, who sells perfume
to the lady next door, slipped me the word:
"Je t'en prie, ne laisse pas éteindre ta race."
He said.
But not me. Oh no, I was a good little boy,
nothing fickle about me. And now l've gone and slammed
the axe into my shins good and proper. –
But someday, slut, you'll come scratching
at my grave to get me back!
And just so you understand what you've done,
I'll remove your statue from my tomb.
That's an order, Niceros. No sir,
I don't want any more domestic squabbles in my grave.
And what's more, just to show her I can dish it out too,
I won't have her kissing me on my deathbed.
Trimalchio e le flautulenze (instrumental)
13. Lady Luck
Criside
We think we're awful smart,
We think we're awful wise,
But when we're least expecting,
Comes the big surprise.
Lady Luck's in heaven
And we're her little toys,
So break out the wine
And fill your glasses, boys!
14. Trimalchio e le flatulenze (reprise)
Trimalchio
Nehmts mir nicht übel, liebes Freunde, -
schon viele Tage macht mein Bauch, nicht mit.
Moi, je ne connais pas plus grand supplice que de se retenir.
Auch die Arzte kennen sich nicht aus.
Was mir trotzdem geholfen hat, war Granatapfelschale
und Pinie in Essig. Ich hoffe trotzdem,
er besinnt sich endiich auf seine Anstandspflicht.
I know of some who've died being too polite and holding it in.
Sonst dröhnt es mir um dem Bauch herum, man denkt, ein Stier.
15. The Money
Habinnas
Rich, you journey well. Your money slicks the sea.
Your winds are fair; you sail at will and do not drown
- though loaded down with money.
And rich, you marry well. Sleep with Danae. Why not?
(Just whisper in her father's ear what he told her
when Jupiter as a rain of gold descended:
- Dear, you've married money).
Poet or lawyer, either be: the world's applause is yours.
No matter what you say, or how: nothing talks like money.
Or be a judge. Gavel down your Guilty or Acquitted,
secure as a gold head.
The world's not judge of much - except your Honor's money.
Examples enough.
The moral is: money money money.
Jupiter is money in the bank.
16. Tape n. 2 (Erotica)
17. Trimalchio e il monumento
Trimalchio
My friends, slaves are human too.
They drink the same mother's milk that we do,
though an evil fate grinds them down.
But I swear that it won't be long - before they
all taste the good water of freedom.
For I plan to free them all in my will.
To Philargyrus here I leave a farm and his woman.
Chorus di tutti i presenti
Farm and woman
Trimalchio
Cario inherits a block of flats and the tax
on his freedom and his bed and bedding.
Chorus di tutti i presenti
Block of flats, tax, bed and bedding.
Trimalchio
To my dear Fourtunata I leave everything I have,
and I commend her to the kindness of my friends.
Chorus di tutti i presenti
To Fortunata everything.
Trimalchio
But I'm telling you the contents of my will so my whole household
will love me as much when I'm still alive as after I'm dead.
Here my private tuba mirum!
Well, old friend Niceros, will you make me my tomb exactly
as I order it? First, of course, I want a statue of myself.
But carve my dog at my feet, and give me garlands of flowers,
jars of perfume and every fight of Hercules' career.
Then, thanks to your good offices, I'll live on long after I'm gone!
In front, I want my tomb one hundred feet long,
but two hundred feet deep. Around it I want an orchard with every,
known variety of fruit tree. You'd better throw in a vineyard too.
For it's wrong, I think, that a man should concern himself
with the house where he lives his life but give no thought
to the home he'll have forever. But above all I want you to carve this notice:
"This monument does not pass into the possession of my dheirs".
In any case I'll see to it in my will that my grave is protected from damage
after my death. I'll appoint one of my enslaves to act as custodian
to chase off the people who might come and crap on my tomb.
Also, I want you to carve my several ships with all sail crowded
and a picture of myself sitting on the judge's bench in official dress
with five gold rings on my fingers and handing out a sack of coins to the people.
For it's a fact, and you're my witness, that I gave free meal to the whole town
and a cash handout to everyone. Also make me a dining room, a frieze maybe,
but however you like, and show the whole town celebrating at my expense.
18. Funeral march
Trimalchio
On my right I want a statue of Fortunata with a dove in her hand.
And, oh yes, be sure to have her pet dog tied to her girdle.
And don't forget my pet slave. Also I'd like huge jars of wine,
well stoppered so the wine won't slosh out.
Then sculpt me a broken vase with a little boy sobbing out his heart over it.
And in the middle stick a sundial so that anyone who wants the time
of day will have to read my name.
And how will this do for the epitaph?
"Here lies Gaius Pompeius Trimalchio Maecenatianus,
voted in absentia an official of the imperial cult. He could have been
registered in any category of the civil service at Rome but chose otherwise.
Pious and courageous, a loyal friend, he died a millonaire, though
he started life with nothing. Let it be said to his eternal credit
that he never listened to philosophers. Peace to him. Farewell"...
19. Tape n. 5
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